I chose to focus on being brave in 2016. I had no idea what a bloody beating this year had in store for our family. It would be easy for me to rehash all the hurt and trauma we’ve been drug through. But I will not. In retrospect, brave turned out to be a fairly appropriate focus word for in the year of our Lord twenty and sixteen.
Reading over my post from last year I can say that I felt beaten and rejected. I was reeling from events that reopened old wounds…let my daemons out a bit. I wanted to just not feel that pain anymore. I thought a brave person would not feel fear quite so much. I purposely did things that were personally frightening. I read hard books, tried new things and ideas, went places by myself, quit looking at my feet and smiled at the strangers around me, and helplessly watched my daughter suffer. All of this I did afraid and believing in my impending failure. I did fail but not every time. Sometimes I totally chickened out but not always. Bravery is getting back up when life is harsh and standing again.
I am stronger at this year’s end than at its beginning. I learned to just accept some situations I have no control over and to appreciate the moments I have with the people I love. Tomorrow will arrive but only with the promises I chose to bring.
I hope twenty and seventeen is a year that does not require so much bravery…you can believe I will choose my focus word very carefully.